Interviewer: Elsabie, you’ve recently launched a new programme called “Beat Tall Poppy Syndrome.” Why this specific focus, and why now?
Elsabie: Since moving to New Zealand, I’ve noticed a very specific cultural pressure that I didn’t grow up with in South Africa. I call it the “silent tax.” I see so many brilliant, high–achieving professionals in Whanganui and across the country who are intentionally putting on an internal handbrake. They are doing incredible work, but they feel they have to “shrub it off” or stay low–key so they don’t get “too big for their boots.”
I wanted to create something that gives people permission to stop shrinking. Tall Poppy Syndrome isn’t just a social habit – it’s a systemic suppression of potential, and I think it’s important to talk about it.
Interviewer: You often mention the “Outsider’s Eye.” How does being a foreigner help you coach New Zealanders through Tall Poppy Syndrome?
Elsabie: It allows me to see the structural “invisible rules” that locals have grown up with. I often compare it to living in a house with very low ceilings. If you live there long enough, you start to walk with a permanent hunch just to avoid bumping your head. You don’t even realise you’re doing it – you just think that’s how people are supposed to walk.
Initially, when speaking to Kiwis, they often defend Tall Poppy Syndrome as something “good” – it’s about teaching kids from a young age to be humble. But as we continue to talk, the fog starts to clear. While humbleness is a virtuous quality, “standing tall” shouldn’t be confused with being arrogant or “showing off”. Because I’m originally from South Africa, I don’t have the same cultural conditioning and is therfore u affected by it. This makes it easier for me to help them rewire those old patterns. It’s beautiful to witness the transformation – when they start realising that standing at their full height isn’t “arrogant” – it is how they were actually meant to live.
Interviewer: What are the real–world signs that someone is struggling with this?
Elsabie: It’s in the verbal and non-verbal language. If you hear yourself using the word “just” to describe your career, or if you feel a physical “cringe” when someone pays you a compliment, that’s Tall Poppy Syndrome.
Other signs include:
- Hyper–vigilance: Always worrying about what your colleagues and friends might say behind your back.
- Self–censorship: deflecting compliments or avoiding to buy that dream house because you don’t want to come across as “too flash”.
- Emotional exhaustion: The constant effort of filtering your wins and softening your success is incredibly draining and can lead to low-level depression.
Interviewer: How does the “Beat Tall Poppy Syndrome” programme actually work?
Elsabie: It’s a 16-hour journey, typically over eight weeks. I focus on seven core pillars of growth. I use advanced NLP techniques to deconstruct the inner critic, and help you learn to humbly own your success.
I also work on very practical skills, like verbal defence techniques. If someone tries to “clip your wings” with a bit of tall-poppy banter, you need to know how to handle that with grace and wit so you don’t feel the need to shrink.
Interviewer: What is the biggest takeaway you want people to have from this programme?
Elsabie: That it isn’t about becoming arrogant. It is about radical self–permission. You were born with unique gifts that distinguish you from everyone else. Suppressing those talents doesn’t serve your community – it only dims the world. You deserve to live at your full volume, unapologetically.
People can learn more about the programme by visiting this page on my website: https://www.coachmetogrow.co.nz/beat-tall-poppy-syndrome/
